Cell Phone Woes

Cell phones are supposed to make everything easier. You can call for directions on the road, you can let your friends know en route that you're running late, and you can find people in crowds via text messages. This is all wonderful, and I am very grateful for my little Nokia - I really am. I would just like to point out a few flaws in the mobile communications culture that has emerged.

First of all, no one sticks to a plan anymore. Back in the early days of high school, we used to decide two things in advance: where to meet, and what time. And then, we'd actually do that. Sure, some people are meticulously on-time and others perpetually run ten minutes behind schedule, and then there's me, who inevitably gets lost somewhere along the way. Generally, though, we assembled where and when we said we would, and life was peachy.

Today, it's a sign of weakness to plan. "Oh, I'll just give you a call when I see where I am," you say airily to your friends. If you want your crew to meet up on Saturday, you can't pick a bar, or even approximate a meeting time in advance. You all have cell phones! When you all figure out where you are when the time comes to meet, you make five calls, send seven text messages, and can mouthe along with your friend's voicemail greetings before you all figure out how to end up in the same pub. "What did we ever do without cell phones?" you all ask, as you gratefully grab your beers and slip, exhausted, into your boothe. "This is so much easier!"

Second of all, my friends couldn't call after 10 PM back in the olden times of land lines. My dad would get on the phone, even if I'd picked it up after the first ring, and firmly tell the terrified caller, "This is too late for phone calls. Please do not call again at this hour." I was mortified, of course, but it was amazingly effective. Today, friends think nothing of calling me at 1:30 on weeknights or texting "Are you still up?" (well, after the text message beep, I am) at 1 AM on Saturdays.

Sure, I'm usually still awake. But unless we've made plans to talk or go out, post-10 time is Miriam Time. If I'm not out, I'm probably watching the Daily Show, reading a mystery, or eating ice cream with my roommate. Unless I can start remembering to turn my phone on silent at night, I might have to start (gasp!) actually telling my friends not to call me so late.

Finally, there's the whole errand error. I have lots of friends who like to call me as they're heading to the grocery store, picking up packages, or walking home. Fine. I like to use my time efficiently, too. I don't want to talk to you, though, if you're only listening to every other sentense I say because you're also talking to the cashier as you buy your veggies. I don't want to talk to you as you try to argue with the post office over when that package was sent. And I definitely don't want to talk to you as you walk down a noisy street, asking me to repeat everything I say that happens to coincide with a bus or truck passing by.

Way back when, I used to talk to my friends from my comfy chair under the phone in my bedroom. We even had phone cords that kept us in the same area throughout the phone call. We even heard each other throughout the conversation, and never lost reception halfway through a good story. And I never fell asleep halfway through the talk, because they couldn't call past my bedtime in the first place.

I'm just as grateful as the next person for the ability to call when lost or late (okay, probably more grateful, since both of those apply to me so often), but I think cell phones have changed this generation's ability to plan and focus. Worst of all, I don't have anyone's number memorized anymore. If my cell phone broke, I don't know how I'd survive.