First Job 101

Your first job is a learning experience, everyone says. You learn practical skills, mature a bit, and, in the meantime, become an expert in filing, faxing and ordering food for lunch meetings. They weren’t kidding about that last part. I also know all the caterers in the city, including who makes you hold ten minutes before you can place your order (Corner Bakery) and who consistently delivers ten minutes early (Armand’s Pizza). Good thing I studied so hard in college.

Since no one has yet figured out how to skip straight to the second job, I’ll add my own two cents to the first-job advice clichés. For all you overachievers out there, here’s how to survive that entry-level position.

Eat often. Every time you pass through the kitchen, you can meet someone new. Lunch is the easiest time to talk to your senior coworkers. “What did you bring today? Did you cook it?” Everyone loves to share recipes. The more I assure them I don’t cook, the more eager they are to explain how easy this chicken was to prepare. The more Girl Scout cookies there are on the table, the more people love to discuss their new diet goals and workout plans as take “just a few” Thin Mints. No one said adults are logical. Just dig in.

Be quick, but not too quick. You want to seem competent, but if you get the copying and faxing done conspicuously early, you’ll just get more to do. Trust me on this one. This leads me to the next tip…

Easy on the sucking up. I finished all of my work early one day when my boss looked particularly stressed. “Can I do anything to help you?” I asked helpfully. “Sure,” she said gratefully, and handed me a stack of thirty calendars and a roll of wrapping paper. “Get these Christmas presents out to the field staff today; that would be just great.”

Find a project. Join a task force, research that question everyone’s been meaning to look into, write an update for the website. Anything that interests you, shows off your skills, and keeps you far, far away from the copy machine is fair game.

Take advice from your fellow minions. They’ll know where to find the spare brochures, how to read the boss’s mood swings, and the best time to sneak out for a phone call. Stick together; it’s a crazy cubicle world out there.

Don’t take advice columns too seriously. Especially this one. I haven’t found my dream job (or decided what that is), been promoted, or even hit the one-year mark. I just got freaked out by a “Where do you want to be in ten years?” question today, and had to rationalize that being the lowest-of-the-low is really a worthwhile endeavor. If it’s all about experience, advice won’t help much anyway.

In any case, all first jobs make for good stories. That’s what blogs are for.